Marriage is a significant milestone in anyone’s life. If you’re considering marrying a seaman, you might be wondering what qualities to look for. It’s a tough choice because he will mostly spend most of his time at sea.
While every person is unique, there are certain qualities that can help you build a happy and successful relationship with a seafarer. The way I see it, many seafarer couples realize that it’s not all about the money. Women marrying a seaman are no longer interested in the income alone. They are now practical in choosing their better half.
A man with good looks, stability, and a job abroad is certainly desirable. Seafarers have an edge when it comes to these qualities.
What to look for when marrying a seaman
Before saying yes to putting a ring in your finger by your sailorman, you might wanna dig deeper and see whether he has the X-Factor that you need.
I filtered out the top qualities that women should look for when marrying a seaman. Check them out here.
1. Visionary
A seaman should have a vision for his future. He must have plans for the next five, ten, fifteen, or even twenty years down the road. If you want to know about them, ask him where he sees himself years from now. This might sound like a job interview, but it’s more than that; it’s a life interview.
Moreover, he should be able to provide you with details and timelines on how he plans to achieve his goals. A seafarer who envisions a life together with you and your children after ten or fifteen years of sailing is a good sign.
2. Budget Conscious
One day millionaire.
This is the brand that seafarers are famous for whenever they are on vacation. Most of us do not like it but even to our own surprise, we are living up to that expectation!
Upon setting foot on land, we immediately have this buying and spending spree. It’s normal for seafarers to have a propensity to spend during their first few weeks of vacation.
This is because we want to make up for lost time with our family. We also want to get our system rid of the monotony, stress, loneliness, pressure, and boredom that our work exposes us to.
Now here’s a good sign. If your seaman puts a stop limit to his expenses and follows his budget dutifully- come hell or high water, then rest assure that he is working very hard managing his finances for a better future.
3. Financially Smart
Being budget conscious is great especially if you are marrying a seaman. Most seafarers have a reputation for earning good money, but it doesn’t mean that they are all financially responsible.
A seafarer who is budget conscious and able to manage his finances is a big plus. It shows that he has a plan for his future.
Additionally, being financially smart means that he can prioritize your family’s needs and not waste money on unnecessary things. This quality can bring peace of mind to both of you and can pave the way for a stable and secure future.
The cost of becoming a seaman is very high and life on board is hard. But managing your finances when you become one is even harder. This is because many seafarers rank low on financial literacy. Financial education is not taught in school and this is the main reason why our savings dry up during vacation.
When your seaman starts to invest his resources on self-education to tackle the different investment opportunities around him, he may be the type of guy who thinks of retiring early. And retiring early means spending most of his time with you.
4. Man of Action
Did you know that many seafarers have plans for businesses and investments? This burning desire to build a better future often grows stronger after a difficult time at sea. But for some reasons, it weakens once they return home after their contract.
Maybe because their pockets are too heavy and its dragging them down to lethargy. Other reasons may include contentment, lack of know-how, or unwillingness to take action.
However, if your seaman is someone who works hard on board and continues to work towards his goals while on vacation, you can rest assured that his actions are focused on building a better life for himself and his family, including you. Look for a man of action, someone who is willing to take risks and make things happen.
5. Faithfulness
Because of the distance, women who marry seamen often find themselves alone and in doubt.
There is a myth about seafarers that goes, “Every port, report and every place, replace”. That may be true at some point in time but the modern seamen of today are getting wiser and more loyal with their loved ones.
When asked if he would like to take a woman in the bar during the night, the only reply I heard from the cadet is, “No, I love my girlfriend!”
So ladies, not all seamen are womanizers, and not all womanizers are seamen. Out there, seafarers usually spend a lot for internet just to communicate with you.
To redefine that old adage, “Every place, we replace our sim cards so that every port, we can report to our wife!”
6. Honesty
“Honesty is the best policy.”
These words from Benjamin Franklin echoes to different areas of our lives including the relationship we have with our partner. Telling lies only breed more lies. It is better to tell the truth so that you won’t have to rethink and remember all the words you said. You just have to recall the exact events and tell it again.
If your seafarer partner makes a mistake and confesses to you, appreciate their honesty and don’t be quick to judge them. They are showing accountability and taking responsibility for their actions. By admitting their mistake, they are seeking a chance to make amends and strengthen the relationship.
Admitting ones sin is divine but being dishonest just to create a divine image is unthinkable! It only perpetuates dishonesty in the future and can be damaging to the relationship.
Therefore, being honest from the start and consistently will foster trust and a healthy relationship.
7. Able to Connect
Because you will be spending hundreds of thousands of miles apart, he should be able to connect with you by tickling your funny bone and melting your heart with love sent from overseas.
Being able to connect means that no matter the distance, you two are capable of showing love with each other. Not only love but also your dreams, hurts, passions and concerns.
Marrying a seaman is difficult but if both of you work things out and communicate very well, the barrier that long distance brings may be shortened.
Remember the song, “Magkabilang Mundo” by Jireh Lim? It is full of feels showing the connectedness of two lovers distances apart. Just like you and your seaman.
Conclusion
There are other qualities out there that I have not mentioned.
These are but only a few of the many lists each individual sees to his mate. If some of the cited qualities are not exhibited by your seaman today, you can help him acquire these traits as they can be learned.
It would also be helpful if both of you start developing those qualities and assess each other in your level of progress.
Got any special traits about your sailor that I missed? Comment your ideas here so others can learn from you before they say yes to marrying a seaman.
May the winds be on your favor.
A family man, he loves writing, reading, investing, and watching the golden hours while sailing.
I am dating a Seaman but our communication hurts me, I tried talking to him many times to leave words for me to have hope while I wait for him to come back, he is not romantic with words, it makes me feel like I am wasting my time he doesn’t tell me how much he misses me or loves me, he doesn’t give me hope to wait…
Hello and good day. Its common to have that kind of problem when dating a seaman. I understand what you’re going through and I can only offer a few advice. First off, internet connectivity or availability on board may not be available or very costly. There are some ships with unlimited internet but you must also know that not all ships and companies provide the same amenities for their crew. In addition, he may be tired of the work and can only spend his time for a few chats or updates and then sleep the remaining hours.
However, people who really likes you gives their time and attention to you. The way you told me about his replies, I think it would do you more peace of mind if you stop expecting too much and instead, channel that love back to yourself. There are many activities that not only improve yourself, but also provide self-fulfillment. The more people see you grow mentally, socially, emotionally, spiritually and financially, the more they are attracted to you.
While doing the process, keep on praying for your man to find you. List down the qualities you want him to be. You will realize that what’s happening today is preparing you for what’s to come.